The world around me did not exist during the course of this morning.

And then it did.

My laptop screen had faded to black, sharply wrenching me out of my cocoon of focus.

From time to time, we experience load shedding in this neck of the woods. Our power supplier issues a schedule (not always adhered to) stipulating the time and dates for a week or so, per suburb or area.

By now we should be getting used to this, as the load shedding saga has become quite commonplace. But so too, it would seem, is our tendency to vent in the face of sudden adversity. Each time the power is cut, sighs of despair are quickly followed by exclamations reflecting no decline in the intensity of our feelings.

Our brains slip into load shedding gear, spitting out the ‘Oh I don’t believe it!’, ‘You’ve got to be joking’, along with the more vivid sayings, popularly abbreviated to acronyms on social media.

We hear them, we say them.

But, much like we create the indented mould in the soles of our favourite shoes by wearing them so often, so too do we hardwire the pattern of reactive behaviour in our brain by repeating the same re-actions to certain events.

During the outages we may well have to change our plans or adopt different strategies but this, in turn, encourages our powers of imagination and adaptability to come to the fore. Does that sound too cutesy-coachified to you, prompting an involuntarily grab for the bucket?

Well bear with me before you dismissively sweep me aside with an ‘Aaargh!’. There may be a realisation or two to help you lower your spikes of frustration and in turn your blood pressure.

Personally, I see no harm in a short and sweet expression of frustration. It’s healthier than suppressing it. And if it’s customary to express sudden elation through a ‘Yay’ (or whatever), why offset our scale of expression by barring the note of dismay? As long as it serves as a quick release and not as a warm-up for a full throttle lament.

The trail of lament can take on a life of its own, where each reason that we hit upon to be miserable feeds the momentum of our gripe, to the point where the actual reality of the situation doesn’t warrant the gravity reflected by our pessimistic outpourings.

The more we get stuck in the loop of the moan drone, the more difficult we make it for ourselves to access our rational thinking. Instead, what we tend to do is veer off on tangents of worsening despair where predictions of doom evolve into beliefs.

There is no benefit to the moan drone. None!

The only thing we can do with any situation that has already happened, is accept it.

Accepting what is, releases your obsessive focus on what’s wrong and allows you to move on with your thinking.

And the next step would be to make another plan. Yes, it’s that simple.

I heard Michael Cain, the actor, describe an incident on stage. He was due to burst open a door on set in an enraged mood. However, his entrance was thwarted by a fallen chair which prevented the door from fully opening. Without losing his nerve, he pushed through the available gap, grabbed the chair and flung it, thereby still giving vent to a full portrayal of anger. He ended off with his moral of the story:

“Use the difficulty!”

So, in the face of sudden inconvenience or adversity, what options can we choose other than those that promote mental suffering?

How can we use the difficulty, and even derive a benefit or two?

Let’s continue with the example of load shedding.

When my laptop’s battery quietly died on me, I was forced to take a break. That’s a good thing and something that I should do far more often. Had I had a critical deadline, I could have visited a coffee shop or friend in another area. But without the time pressure I went for a walk which made a healthy break-filler – as would a number of creative outlets that don’t depend on a screen.

Although we would be hard pressed to survive without them, screens, big and small, are not the healthiest of devices and can devour our time. Television, on the other hand, hardly meets that survival criterion, although many would argue it offers an escape, a way to unwind at the end of a hard day’s work.

But without power?

Well then, does that not provide a beautiful opportunity for engaging in that old fashioned custom of conversation? Not as a sideline to cooking or some other activity, but face-to-face, possibly over a candle.

Imagine experiencing eye contact, awareness of facial expressions, and full presence! I implore you to try it.

Yet what about the downside of load shedding, the economic impact on businesses and the country as a whole? Of course that is serious with long term consequences. However, if there is nothing that you can do to change the situation (and I’m not saying that there isn’t) then what is the benefit in focussing on the negatives and making yourself miserable?

When we can’t do anything to help the situation, we can do something to help the self, starting with our choice of attitude.

I hesitate to say ‘change your attitude’ because besides sounding somewhat tired, it may not feel that achievable to some, especially when making a meal out of all that is wrong has become an ingrained pattern. It could be dismissed as another useless platitude.

So let’s say ‘lighten up’. Change your thinking.

If matters are out of your control, focus on turning the challenge around to your advantage. Say “enough” to the ‘drone’ and let go. This is not being deluded, it’s being intelligent.

Lighten the load of living

by shedding the load of unrewarding pessimism.